I keep forgetting how closed-minded the world around me is. It’s easy to forget, when all your acquaintances are open-minded people (and kinky to boot!).
Recently I went back to a human sexuality forum that I used to spend a lot of time on. I started a thread announcing my upcoming marriage to MB. A lot of the regulars there congratulated me, and some asked if this would affect my relationship with Viktor (no, it will not).
But some of the venom that I got from others was truly astounding. Here is just an example:
“How did you manage to convince him to marry your skanky ass?”
“…this bitch claims to have been fisted, and raped and a sex slave. Now clench your hand into a fist, and think about how big that hole is! Would a tricycle fit in that garage? A man could probably do scuba diving in that hole, and never touch the bottom!”
“Is it a real wedding or one in Vegas with Elvis? What are you both wearing, leather straps with matching anal toys, with chains clanking down the aisle? Don’t forget to take your gags out of your mouths before the ‘I do’.”
“According to some of her posts the men in her life are very much sadists, but that’s what she calls LOVE! LMAO!”
“Yet you claim that you were once raped! So tell me what caused you to scream rape,was it that his dick was too small? It must have been that later on you got jealous for some reason,or that he never wanted to come back for more,so you screamed rape to make him pay for jilting you! You will never convince me that you were ever a victim of rape”
And the ugliness went on and on….
To be honest, it caught me off guard. Like I said, I lately have been corresponding and spending time with people in the lifestyle, and thus had actually forgotten that there are people out there who don’t approve of BDSM and poly – and those people are VERY vocal about their disapproval!
But it should not have caught me off-guard. That was MY fault – being unprepared for the hatred and bigotry that exists out there. And so I share my experience with you, dear readers – because I suspect a lot of you are going to face the same prejudice, the same disdain, that I have experienced in the last few days.
So I am going to open up my blog to everyone who has dealt with this kind of behavior before. How did you handle it? Share your experiences! And if you haven’t dealt with this before, but feel you have something to say about the subject, then please comment – let’s get a discussion going here.
Oh…My…Gods… Perhaps you should have been prepared, but no one can fully prepare for that kind of poison. I mean… there’s really no reason for someone saying those things, and it’s too bad that you had to read them.
As human beings, it is our right. It is *our right* to have our own opinions, as it is again *our right* to share them. But, it is *NOT* our right, to attack someone with such vile, offensive and venomous hatred.
We each have our own needs and wants and desires and fears just as both myself and The Pink Poppet stated on a previous post. As such, and as human beings as I stated above, we have *a right* to live our lives as we choose, in whatever manner we choose. Just because someone else doesn’t want to live how one of us wants to live, doesn’t make it wrong, in any way. Perhaps it’s wrong in their house, but I [we] am in my [are in our] house[s], not theirs [yours.].
If I am going to your house and know that it would be inappropriate to wear my Hello Kitty ears, for whatever reason, I would NOT wear them. Even if I disagreed with that reason. (Sure that’s a silly example but it works.) Just as me and D do not allow smoking in our apartment, it would be incredibly inappropriate to smoke here. So you wouldn’t, hopefully. And if you did, we would ask you to leave.
Everybody has their own rules for their lives that work for them. Patricia Lynn and her partners choose to live in a poly lifestyle. Poly is not for me, me and D would not be able to cope with sharing each other. However, that does not make it wrong. It is wrong for us, but we are different people. One of my best friends is Christian, I am Pagan. Christianity is wrong for me, Paganism is wrong for her. Does that make either just plain wrong? No. It does not.
Things become wrong when they are harmful to someone. Those comments left were harmful, childish and just plain unnecessary. I for one, am quite thankful for karma, for people like that, in the end, reap what they sow.
Thank you Jessie Beth! So let me ask you a question – if these comments were directed at you specifically, how would you handle it?
Some people recommend ignoring the hater, some people think a reasoned reply is best. What is your opinion?
Truth be told, I’d ignore them. People like that, if you try to reason with the or anything, it’s pretty much fuel for the fire. It would just give them more “ammunition” regardless of what you say. People like that could twist “good morning” into whatever they wanted it to be.
I am utterly and absolutely shocked by the venom and hatred the you seem to have encountered! I sort of figured that if it was a Human Sexuality forum, the people on it would be more open and accepting than the average group of people. You do not deserve to be treated in such a way, especially in an area (that forum) where you have previously been and where you have interacted with people before and they know you. They should be ashamed. I wish I knew what else to tell you, but I am still so shocked by this. Just goes to show that there are some really hateful and vindictive people out there. Hugs to you hon. Hope you do not let that get to you so much. They aren’t worth it. Poppet.