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Archive for the ‘rant’ Category

On being open-minded….

I keep forgetting how closed-minded the world around me is.   It’s easy to forget, when all your acquaintances are open-minded people (and kinky to boot!).

Recently I went back to a human sexuality forum that I used to spend a lot of time on.  I started a thread announcing my upcoming marriage to MB.  A lot of the regulars there congratulated me, and some asked if this would affect my relationship with Viktor (no, it will not).

But some of the venom that I got from others was truly astounding.  Here is just an example:

“How did you manage to convince him to marry your skanky ass?”

“…this bitch claims to have been fisted, and raped and a sex slave.  Now clench your hand into a fist, and think about how big that hole is!  Would a tricycle fit in that garage? A man could probably do scuba diving in that hole, and never touch the bottom!”

“Is it a real wedding or one in Vegas with Elvis? What are you both wearing, leather straps with matching anal toys, with chains clanking down the aisle? Don’t forget to take your gags out of your mouths before the ‘I do’.”

“According to some of her posts the men in her life are very much sadists, but that’s what she calls LOVE!  LMAO!”

“Yet you claim that you were once raped! So tell me what caused you to scream rape,was it that his dick was too small?  It must have been that later on you got jealous for some reason,or that he never wanted to come back for more,so you screamed rape to make him pay for jilting you! You will never convince me that you were ever a victim of rape”

And the ugliness went on and on….

To be honest, it caught me off guard.  Like I said, I lately have been corresponding and spending time with people in the lifestyle, and thus had actually forgotten that there are people out there who don’t approve of BDSM and poly – and those people are VERY vocal about their disapproval!

But it should not have caught me off-guard.  That was MY fault – being unprepared for the hatred and bigotry that exists out there.  And so I share my experience with you, dear readers – because I suspect a lot of you are going to face the same prejudice, the same disdain, that I have experienced in the last few days.

So I am going to open up my blog to everyone who has dealt with this kind of behavior before.  How did you handle it?  Share your experiences!  And if you haven’t dealt with this before, but feel you have something to say about the subject, then please comment – let’s get a discussion going here.

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Are all submissives equal?

This morning I sat down to catch up on my blog reading….I went over to Luna’s blog and was astounded by what I read there.  Well, not astounded by her actual blog post – but in the comments another sub decided to take Luna to task for “grating on her nerves” (which quite frankly was the nicest sentence in the whole comment).

http://lunakm.me/2010/01/over-complication/

This bothers me on a lot of levels.  First of all, if you don’t like what you read on a particular person’s blog, then QUIT FOLLOWING THE BLOG.  Why waste time reading a blog you don’t like?

Second of all, it is tacky to throw a tantrum on someone else’s blog.

But last, and most importantly, since when is it okay to tell someone they are inferior just because she lives a different lifestyle than your own?  This person proceeded to yell at Luna for not having children, for expressing her misery at being ill, and for mourning the fact that she didn’t have private time of her own.  Evidently if you are a submissive and a blogger, you are supposed to present a happy front at all times?

Honestly – everyone is different, everyone is unique.  There are Dom/sub relationships out there that are 24/7.  Some people have a D/s relationship that revolves purely around the bedroom – in every other area of life the partners are equal in all things.  And still others have different styles of BDSM.  That doesn’t mean that one style is superior to the other….it just means it is different.

The “holier-than-thou” attitude that I see coming out of some subs really pisses me off.  As an editor of a human sexuality forum, I see this a LOT.  Quite frankly, whenever I read it I feel as though I am a recess monitor at a school for delinquents!

Every sub is different (and I can hear all the Dominates saying “Amen!” over that fact).  We are individuals with differing viewpoints, priorities, habits, and values.  We are also, all of us, united by our status as submissives.  We are members of a  sisterhood that is already attacked by the mainstream public who believes in  myths and misconceptions.  The last thing we need is dissension among our own ranks.

So please, people – if you read a blog that you disagree with, and you feel the need to post something to that effect in the comments, then do so with tact and empathy.   You wouldn’t like it if others attacked you for YOUR lifestyle choices, so offer the same courtesy to others.

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